Miroku's Search Begins
by Typo1138
Summary: Miroku begins his quest - to find someone to......you know..... Please read and review all chapter posted...hehe
1. Miroku's Search: The Search Begins

Bellichan: Hello, fan people. I do not own Miroku or any other references used in this fanfic. However, it is so much fun to make a mockery of him, I have to post it anyway. For the manga version, wait and I will post it somewhere, someday.  
*Note: Anything in ( ) is a comment by Bellichan!  
  
A drowsy Miroku rose from a contented sleep as the rays of dawn's light peeped through the shades. He stretched and yawned in that Miroku way which tells you everything he thinks about is either perverted or based on money. (^_^;; well......) Arising from his bed, he knew this was the day he would begin his genre-wide quest - the quest to find someone to bear his lovechild! (Duhn-duhn-duuuuuuuhn! Fake grandeur and real sarcasm if you can't recognize it...)  
Kagome, the early riser, plodded into Miroku's room in her slippers (who knows why she has slippers in Feudal Japan?). She yawned.   
Aaaaaaaaagh. So, Miroku, today's the day, isn't it? The day you...you know.   
Yes, Kagome, and I shall miss you. At this point, Miroku held her hands and began to move them faaaarther down.  
  
Awww, all right.  
Picking up his staff, he shifted, took a deep breath, and walked out the door.   
Straight onto University Satellite.   
(OK ok, I _am_ making up fake portals to other dimensions. He has to get there somehow, doesn't he?)


	2. Miroku's Search: Monk Meets A Battle At...

Bellichan: Copyright stuff: None of this is mine except for the storyline, somewhat.....  
  
Bellichan: Ok, well for all of you people out there who don't know what the hell   
University Satellite is, it is from an anime called Battle Athletes, Miroku's first stop.   
(Battle Athletes is copyright...umm....Pioneer I think) The story summary for BA is there   
is a girl named Akari who is admitted to a school for extremely space-y sports on a   
satellite, hence University Satellite. When Akari is scared or sad, she hides in a large   
cardboard box labeled Akari's House. In addition, Kris is a gay (although you can't t  
tell most of the time) blue-haired girl who is in love with Akari. She also has a pet cow   
named Gyubei.   
  
Akari: OK I don't like the sound of his fanfic......especially that Miroku guy.......  
  
Bellichan: Well you won't like it, but Miroku probably will! And yes, if you haven't   
  
guessed this is a story about Miroku finding someone to BEAR HIS CHILD. So there.   
  
BUBBA JACQUES!!!!!!!!!!  
________________________________________________________________~  
  
After entering the portal, Miroku's first steps are those on University Satellite's   
simulated grass fields. Humming to himself, Miroku half ran, half walked to the front   
desk.   
  
May I have the roster please? Miroku said.  
Please state your reason. The front desk officer, munching on a Belgian cream   
donut, was nevertheless in a grouchy mood. The indignant sound of her voice made   
Miroku's easily provoked hostility come out.   
  
I HAVE A HOLE IN MY FREAKIN HAND AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!!  
  
WAAAGH! OK OK HERE IS THE ROSTER!!!!!  
  
Miroku strode off to find the girl Akari Kanzaki.  
  
  
Entering the weight room, which smelled fine considering the amount of people   
working out, was crowded with girls. Miroku's gaze wandered around the room, taking   
in all of the beautiful ladies (Whaaaat, I'm speaking Miroku talk :P). However, he remembered his quest and spotted Akari across the room. He strolled over to her. She was another gorgeous girl, with sleek brown hair and an innocent face. This look deceived many, but not Miroku, because he could see that she was lifting more than the weight of many large demons.   
  
This was one dangerous female. Miroku resolved in his mind to be careful about what he said.  
  
Hello! You, yes you.  
Akari looked up, puzzled. Yes? Can I help you?  
Will you bear my child?  
  
Akari blinked, not responding for a few seconds. She proceeded to whip out   
her Akari's House box and hide underneath it.  
  
Her wails could be heard echoing around the large room. Eyes turned   
to stare at him.   
Hmmm, I guess not.......*sweatdrop* (DUH Miroku! You scare everyone!)  
A rumbling sound exploded from the front door.  
  
A yell erupted from behind Miroku and he spun around, screaming.  
  
EEEEEYAGH! What the HELL are YOU? Miroku's eyes went wide as he   
surveyed the scene before him: An aqua-tressed female was set before him, pointing   
an accusing finger straight between his eyes. She was riding on none other than....a   
very large cow.   
  
I am a KRIS. How DARE you say that to my Akari!!!!! How DARE you!!! Kris' finger was   
shaking with rage at Miroku's face. He was generally not scared by much, but this was   
scary _and_ disturbing......  
  
Miroku began to mumble incomprehensibly to no avail (if there was a purpose   
anyway). "GYUBEI!!" barked Kris. The enormous cow's head tilted, waiting for orders.   
Kris' eyes narrowed.   
  
"GET HIM!!!!!!"  
  
Gyubei proceeded to stomp many times on Miroku, injuring him badly, but not enough to kill him (hey I have a lot more chapters to go). Miroku's limp body arose from it stupor afetr a while, and Miroku built up the strength to speak. Kris listened closely.  
  
"In........ugh....that case......will......_you....._ bear...." Miroku managed to struggle out.  
  
"YOU BAKA!!! I'm GAY!!!" Kris' twitching eye accented the accusing finger again pointed at Miroku. He decided it was a good time to switch series.   
A magical portal opened an again, Miroku simply disappeared into it.  
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I'm sorry, I meant for this story to be funny......now it's just wierd. O well...the manga version is funnier, although I've only managed to draw this episode. Please review...especially tell me if it is remotely funny....be honest. I can take it. But not too honest...... : P


	3. Miroku's Search: Continued Miroku Visit...

Bellichan: Copyright Pioneer and whatever...yadda ya....it isn't mine.  
  
Miroku: you could be a little clearer.....-_-;;  
  
Bellichan: I don't want to! I feel writer's block coming on....I could always end the quest.....  
  
Miroku: NOOOO!!!! OK OK it is fine, ehehe. ^_^;;  
  
_______________________________________________________________  
  
The portal, conveniently placed near Sakura's school, closed with a popping noise. Miroku stepped out onto the playground, looking around. Lunchtime! All the little girls running around the playplace were only around ten years old.  
  
*Something tells me I'm gonna get bashed in this episode....-_-;;* Miroku thought. Turning around, he again attempted to locate the main character.  
  
Not seeing anyone familiar right away, Miroku roamed the playground. He got several blank stares from the girls, who froze in their tracks to stare at the feudal era monk. Luckily, even Miroku isn't enough of a lecher to think about these girls like that. Then, looking at the picture in the binder again (yes he has a magical binder telling him what all of the girls look like) he spotted the age of the girl he was looking for.   
  
He screamed. I thought it was going to be a teacher or something! i can't ask a little girl! The wide eyes of the girls surrounding him grew wider; no one cursed of the playground. An angry teacher barge through the thick cloud of girls.  
  
*WHOA! Now this is more like it! Miroku thought, spying the teacher's fair face. Checking again in the book, he was disappointed not to find her picture on the list. However, the teacher was pissed off anyway.  
  
We do NOT curse on this playground, young man! What is your business here? The teacher fumed over Miroku's cursing, but her few years of experience in teaching enabled her to tolerate it.   
  
Oh, I'm here to find someone named - SAKURA! Miroku spotted a pair of rollerblades disappearing around the corner - Sakura was going home for lunch. Miroku dashed after her. When Sakura heard someone shouting her name, she turned around and skidded to a stop on the sidewalk.   
  
Yeah! That's me! What is it?!!  
  
Catching his breath, Miroku stood still. Sakura possessed amber hair and large green eyes, set in the center of a young, bright visage . Next to her was, as Miroku could tell from the binder, Tomoyo, a pale young girl with ashen gray hair. Miroku decided he would ask Sakura first.  
  
Sakura Kinomoto, will you PLEASE bear my child?  
  
He got much of the same reaction as from Akari, except much more violent. Sakura whipped out the wood and fight cards and released them with an incantation. They combined into a beautiful wooden fighter, one that possessed both resiliency and splinters, a dangerous combination.  
  
Miroku did not stop there. What a beautiful creature! Hey, creature-thingy, will YOU bear my - Again, he did not get to finish. The combination of the cards whooped his arse in a very short time.   
  
I WOULD BE THE SAME AGE AS YOUR FREAKIN DAUGHTER!!!!!!   
Sakura skated off in a huff.   
  
Tomoyo lingered behind, looking angered. Miroku did not wait this time to speak.  
  
You're gay, aren't you? Tomoyo responded with a hesitant nod. Kind of, she said.  
  
I thought so. This ALWAYS happens, goddamit! GAAAAAAH!!   
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Review! review! Please do not flame me, I know I am a sad writer but it really is funnier in manga form.......which means eventually I have to post it somewhere....oh well. the point is, please review with CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. **Not** BASH THE WRITER criticism.


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